About time I got my act togather

It is Tuesday and middle of oktober, Not a bed day in itself but my week startet almost as bad as a week can start. I had gotten a pretty bad cold, had been fighting against it all weekend but there was no getting away from it. It had come over me with full force and the only thing I could do was to live with it. So I did my best! My wee angle was sick aswell so I called gran who said she would look after him when I needed to go to work in the afternoon.
So I headed out to the shops to buy some lunch for us and then I cooked lunch. It ended up with blood all over the kitchen and two bandaged fingers. I was a bit shaken up as it was quite deep cuts. But I decided that my work colleages would help me bandage this, so I should be able to work. But I never got to work. I had a bike accident on my way to work and ended up in the emergency rooms and got sent home on crutches with a weirdly sprained ancle. So now Im at home on a tuesday and gran has taken my wee angle out to play. Cant take him down the stairs with two crutches so she was more than willing to help. I hope the rest of the week will be better and that I will soon be able to return to work. "sigh"

VAB (Vård av barn)

Vård av Barn - It basically means looking after a sick child. And today I had my first VAB day. My wee man woke up around 5 am and he was burning up. Took the temp and it was 39,5 degrees. Poor thing. Didnt help that summer is here in full force and the flat is warm warm warm. So there was only one thing I could do. I picked my wee man up and startet walking around the flat with him and quietly singing. He soon calmed down but would not let go off my neck. I quickly made the decision that there would be no official work for me today and that my day would be spent with my little angel in the ERGO walking around the flat. So we have had a warm day in the flat with all the curtains drawn to try to keep the heat and sun out.
Tomorrow is my better halfs first VAB day. Hope he will appriciate this part of our social system as much as I did today. It is great to be able to be there for your child when they feel sick and need you the most.

ops

I do realise that with my last post I have forgotten my new positive me..... Sorry about that but will try to see the positive side of the sun.
My friends are happier.... and that will make me happier.
I knew I could do it

Måste man glädja sig för solen

Alla som jag pratar med är så himla glada därför att det är sol!!!!! Varför måste man vara glad för solen. Den är varm, obekväm för ögonen och man måste skydda sina småttingar från den. Den är bara besvärlig. Ju det är roligt att det är varmt så jag kan ha på mig sandaler men måste solen vara framme oxå. Kan det inte vara lagom varmt utan sol????
Jag älskar regnet. Jag tycker det är så gott med regn, specielt utländskt regn (då menar jag regn utan vind som händer aldrig på Island). Men jag kan oxå glädja mig för riktigt isländskt regn som kommer från alla håll och kantar och slår mig i andsiktet. Det är lätt att skydda sig genom att ta på sig regnkläder. Kan inte få cancer från regn. Det är få creepy-crawlies ute och njuter av regnet så de kommer inte och sticker eller biter mig.
Ska snart köra nä till affären i min bil som kommer att vara minst 30 grader varm och stor handla. Min lilleman kommer inte att vara nöjd med detta men det måste göras. Skulle vara så mycket bättre om det var regn.

Lonely or being by yourself

Sometimes I think Im lonely! But I have come to realise that it is not the right description of what Im feeling. Because Im not lonely. My life is filled to the brim with wonderful people that I know all over the world. And sometimes I love being by myself. I crave it. The other morning when I was so so so tired and my better half said to me. Sleep, Ill take Bjarki. It was so nice and I slept for a while, and when I woke up, I heard that they were on their way out so I stayed in bed until I could get out of bed and be by myself in the flat. Eat breakfast and take a shower and just do normal morning things by myself. It was great!
So no Im not lonely. I meet people all the time and I know I can call people up if I need to talk. I dont really know a good english word for it but in swedish you say "sällskapssugen" I just want some company.
This evening I have been at home with my wee man. Im feeling a bit sällskapssugen but so what. I am going to brush my teeth and then lie down next to my wonderful son and fall asleep. Because there is no company that can match that. His little hand that claps my cheek to make sure that Im there next to him.

The thing about smiling

Im still absolutely decided on smiling my way through this summer though it is not always easy.
Ive had a few lapses in my smile campaign but Im not going to be beeten by people who worry too much or only see the negative side of everything.
Today I signed myself up for 2 extra shifts this summer. We need more people to work but dont have more people. Or if we dont have the money to hire in more people. It is absolutely rediculous. How can the management think that we will provide good health services if we are so tired that we loose our smiles.
Well I have decided that it is good with 2 extra shifts because I get a bit more money and I get to spend more time with my great new co-workers and meet more wonderful elderly patients on my ward.

Hope you can all se the bright sight of life. If you cant straight away. Look a bit harder. It is there.

To smile

Been thinking a lot about how we behave towards each other. People talk abot how good it was before when you could always rely on others for a smile and a helping hand.
So my new motto in life is to smile as much as I can. Ok, the people whom I pass in the hospital corridors do look strangely at me, but then I have at least something to laugh about. And today I did a good deed.
I helped an elderly woman with her shopping. She had taken the bus home from the shops and thought she would manage to carry her shopping all the way home but it was gettin tough for her. She stood resting on the path when I walked passed her so I decided to offer my help. And Im glad I did. I put her shopping on the pram and we walked to her house and she got a chance to talk a bit. Sounded like she needed to talk about all her ailments. And Im happy to carry shopping and listen if it makes another person happy. And...... It make me a bit happier too.

The first week done

No the big day has passed and Im a licenced nurse! It feels so strange to be able to say that.... Im not a nursing student Im an actual nurse. Feels great.
I celebrated my degree last weekend. On the friday was the ceremony at uni and then lunch at my mother in laws. It was a great day and I hardly stopped smiling. And it was great to wear my national costume. It was fun to wear!!!! Mind you, I dont need a lot to be amused.
The satruday was party day. The little man was send off to his gran before lunch and then we startet preparing for the party and the first guests arrived around 17:30 and the last one left about 12:30 the next day. So all in all a great party.

But now Ive started my new job as a nurse at a medical ward for the over 75 years old. We dont seem to have many of those patients at the moment but we have a lot of other exciting things to battle with under the day. Stroke, KOL, arytmi, etc. will soon become an expert in readin arytmi monitoring. But it is hard work. Learning new rutines and trying to remeber everything a nurse should do and work at the same pace as is expected of all nurses (I think the board must see us as having superpowers).
All in all Im loving it. It will be a great summer with lots of fun things to do at work and lots of fun things to do with my family when Im not at work.

The big day is getting closer and closer. I have recieved the parcel with the national costume from my sister and it fits. A bit loose but that is better than the opposite.
My side of the family is here. My step cousin. The only one who was invited and therefore only one who came. Im sure that if I had invited more people they would have shown but I was only allowed to take 4 people with me to the ceremony so might as well keep it to the minimum. So Kris my cousin will be there. My mother in law, my sister in law and my wee boy. He has to be there. Unfortunetly has Niklas got an exam at the same time so he wont be there.
It will be nice to get it done. Get my papers and drink a bit of champagne and celebrate. Will be great.
2 days to go

Bumble Bees

I have a Bumble Bee home on my balcony..... What to do! My better half wants to fill the hole with silicon and kill them all!!!! But I cant allow him to do that. That is murder. All those poor helpless bumble bee babys. So Im going to call my landlord and hope he will be a bit kinder.
Otherwise had a good day. Visited my mother in law with the wee man this morning. And then a bicykel trip with the whole family in the afternoon. Now it is time for cake and milk

What a week

What a week this has been, It started of with a small dissaster. My wee angel burned himself monday night. So we got to ride in a ambulance to the emergency rooms and Bjarki got checked out. I have never been so scared in my life. I thought he was seriously injured. After about 15min in a cold shower I could see it was mainly his underarm that got burned, thank god for that. In the beginning I thought it was half his face, body and all of his arm. So he runs around with a little bandage on his arm and doesnt really seem to be bothered by this. He is a real trooper :)
Took me about a day to get over the shock, then I had a week at home with my injured wee angel. But this morning saturday morning I woke up with a rash all over my body....... f***. Called the hospital hotline and they said I had to come down to the emergency imidiatly, not allowed to eat breakfast, just get dressed and out the door. So that is what I did. My lovely better half made me a sandwich to take with me(he know how I get without food).
Doctor said it was some kind of allergy and I need to take some quality pills until it goes away. And now, in the evening, Im not pink and prickly anymore. Hope I get to stay away from the emergeny ward for a while now.

Hmmmm

Ja nu är det vist dags igen, ska försöka bli duktigare på detta med bloggandet men just nu så känns det svårt. Jag är bara så otroligt omotiverad att göra saker. spelar ingen roll vad det är. Blogga, städa, plugga, laga mat..... allt känns tungt nu. Vet inte riktigt varför. Kan det vara därför att jag skulle vilja vara klar med skolan men sitter istället på föreläsningar som verkar inte vara av så stor vikt. Måste lämna in arbeten som igen verkar inte vara av någon vikt för min utbildning och jag kommer inte att lära mig något av att göra.
Denna transportstreckan, fram till att jag får min examen är så tröttsam att jag vet inte hur jag ska göra för att bli lide mer energisk och glad. Försöker se på det på ett bra sätt och se fram imot sommaren men det är svårt. Det känns så overkligt att börja jobba som ssk. Men jaja, det löser sig ju, förr än jag vet så har jag fått min legetimation och börjat att jobba och kommer säkert snart att bli en av gänget på jobbet. Ska i allafall ha en bra kväll med goda kompisar.

The return

Im back. Been a tough couple of weeks with me and my better half both getting a stomach bug. And not only once but twice, both of us...... But thank god the wee one has managed to stay healthy. Just as good as he is still getting used to nursery.

It is great to come to nursery in the afternoon and pick him up. I have to call to him a few times before he realises Im there. He is way to busy playing with his tractors to come and talk to his mum. All in all, it is good to see him so happy at nursery. Hope it stays like that.

Off from the workplacement for the weekend as Im bannlistet until saturday from the hospital. But will be able to start again on monday and tackle the problems that have arisen there during this week. Hate having a "face to face" with people that just dont understand, but now it is not me that decides, it is the supervisers. As a student you are completely powerless and just have to accept what is and what will come. It is the worst position I can imagine being in when you are supposed to take care of seriously ill people.

Alone

Today I have spoken to lots of people. I have spoken to them face to face, on the phone, chatted online. In general had quite a lot of different conversations. But still i feel so alone. I feel alone in my feelings about the changes in my life. I feel alone when I try to make difficult decisions. While others embrace their alone time and the quietness, I feel terrified. I dont know how Im supposed to get away from my thoughts if nobody is there to distract me. How am I supposed to calm myself down when I worry all the time about so many different things.

A new face in my life

I have now startet a new face in my life. It is a face that felt so far far away just a few weeks ago. I am introducing my son to nursery. It feels a bit scary. Has he really become so big that he is going to start a life without me. And yes! He is that big and quite capable to start a life which consist of friends and nurserynurses. A life which I wont be a part of, except when Im invitet in around christmas and other happenings.
It feels scary but also good. I am ready to start my new life as a nurse and to earn a living again. Will be so good to get a half deacent paycheck at the end of every month. To have small quiet moment for myself when I cykel to and from my work. I will have adult conversations with my colleagues and possible can debate different way to treat patients. I welcome this new face with open arms.

MY thoughts

I have started my workplacement at the strokeunit at the local hospital. I have been there two days and dont really know what I am supposed to feel about it. The woman organising the whole thing seems nice enough but she isnt the one I meet every day and have to work with. But she is the one who wants me to write down my thoughts every day and discuss them with other people in the workplace.

I find it hard to do, almost impossible. I dont know these people. I dont care to share my thoghts with people I dont know. If I feel I need to share my thoughts I do it with my friends. I feel like someone is going into my "personal space"! They are forcing themselfs into my thoughts. Dont know how to handle it. Hope I manage to write down something while still keeping it very unpersonal.

Week two

First week of South Beach is over. It wasnt easy, I cant say that,but it was worth it. Feel that all my clothes sit just a little bit more comfortable on me and I can see my stomach getting platter. The result was 2.4kg for the first week. So now Ill just have to keep at it. I havent succeeded for more than 2 weeks that often. I normally give in to my cravings for a pizza,but not this time. I have my eye onthe price at the end of it. Only 4,1 kg to go!!!!

What a weekend

Have had a very very nice weekend. Spent the whole weekend with my little family and just enjoyed myself. But underneath all the fun was a big tension. I should have started my period days ago..... so Saturday morning my better half goes to the gym and stops at the pharmacy on the way home. He buys a home pregnancy test with two stick in. After lunch I take the first test but nothing.
No baby, both happy and little sad, but mostly relieved as it is definitely not time for another kid... Have a great afternoon and evening with Bjarkis grandparents but am still worried. OK, Im not pregnant but Im usually like a clock, so why have I not got my period? Start to imagine the worst and during the night when I cant sleep with worry, my thoughts go back towards the baby and everything that I would have to fix:
Two kids on the third floor without an elevator!
Double pram!
Two Car seats in our small car!
Just about to start a new job, this would seriously f*** things up!
Money!

So in the morning I take the second test.
No not pregnant, again happy, sad and very relived. Then the thoughts about why come back to me. OK will call the midwife first thing on Monday ( In Sweden it is always the midwife who we call for some reason!!!!)
Now Sunday evening Im glad to say that I have gotten my period :D Fantastic, have seldom been as happy about that!

And what have a learned from this rollercoaster of a weekend? Yes, be more careful.... for if we hadnt been uncareful there would have been no need to worry, would there?

Day 2

Yesterday was D-ay..... I started the day off with bacon and egg and everything went well. I didnt really feel hungry until the afternoon and then again in the evening.... it is so hard to get out of the habit to eat infront of the TV.
But I woke up not feeling hungry and went off to uni. I dont know what happened there but I felt so so so hungry even though I ate exactly the same as yesterday. My snack att10 didnt help nor did my lunch..... So today seems to be the day where I can make or break my plan. I am going to do this. I am going to succeed. So instead of going down to the uni restaurant Im going to sit here in the library and study. Hope tomorrw will be better.

new beginnings

Tonight I will say goodbuy to my old life and tomorrow it will be hello! :) new life. Tomorrow Ill be starting my life according to "South Beach". Im finally going to get rid of those last pregnancy kilos and be comfortable in a bikini this summer.
So tonight is a night of chips and pizza and then tomorrow morning it will be egg, bacon and vegetable juice.....

A night out.

Im happy and tired on a saturday morning, after a good night out with my former classmates. Started the night off with food and drink and than moved on when the "rockabillys" startet arriving. Have to say that it was a shame as I would have loved to listen to old rock music. Cant have been anyworse than the place we went to.
A Bar on 3 floors. First floor a normal bar place, next floor is divided in two diffrent places, a stage with a live band and a piano bar, the top floor was more of a dico place.
When we arrived we pulled the average age down by at least 10 years but we found ourselfs a place to stand and had a few drinks but soon people started to dissapear. I thought I would be the first to leave but NO I was, unbelievable but true, one of the last in the group to leave.

Headed off when we realised we were too young for the pianobar, too old for the disco and too foreign for the live band and just tired of the cold bar. So we went off to meet Mr. penguin and bought some kebabs and chips. Felt much better after that and headed home with a good friend and soon fell asleep with my little angels arms around my neck.

to continue

It is easy to start a blogg, but the hard thing is to keep at it. I find it is hard to find the time to sit myself down for a few minutes and write down my thoughts. As soon as I come close to the computer I have a wee angel who wants to help me to write.
I have had a tough weekend, but nice. My better half has been away for a party weekend in the big city and I have been by myself with a half sick and irritable little boy. It has been hard to do anything at all without him hanging onto my skirt wanting to be carried or just get attention. But I managed a few hours of relaxation saturday night when I friend came over and we had dinner and watched some TV. Just nice to get some adult conversation ;). Dont get me wrong I love spending time with my wee boy but it is important to do something else aswell.

But now I have a new week ahead of me with lots of study and hopefully a healthier child. And of course I will have to try to keep the blogg going......

The challange

OK! I accept the challange, or should I say challanges as there was a hidden challange within the original challange.


The original challange.
Gå till dina "Mina bilder"· Gå till den sjätte mappen och välj därefter den sjätte bilden i den mappen. · Visa bilden på bloggen och skriv något om den.

Translation - Go to your pictures, Go to the 6th folder and then choose the 6th picture in that folder. Publish the photo on your blogg and write something about it.

This is a picture of the church at Þingvellir (a national park in Iceland) Taken on Januray 2nd 2004. We had visitors from Sweden and took them to see the usual sights. A beautiful place.

The second challange was to start to blogg again. And as can be seen I have!